One of the weirdest things about human nature is that people will try to hide themselves by slumping over. There are some people who literally think that hunching over will somehow hide them. They often do this because of a variety of reasons including shame, guilt, feelings of unworthiness and so on and so on. The sad reality, however, is that by not standing tall this only serves to worsen their negative feelings, further hurt their self image, and erode their wilting self confidence that made them want to hide in the first place. If you try to blend in to a crowd because of poor feelings then it's time to switch things around if your goal is to become more self confident. Furthermore, raising self confidence is one of the major steps along the personal development journey.

"Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are."     Malcolm S. Forbes

In a very interesting study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology scientists uncovered a link between peoples' height and their salary. Perhaps unsuprisingly, there was a clear suggestion that taller people, whether male or female, earned significantly more money over their lifetime than their shorter counterparts. The exact reason for these interesting findings are debatable. On the other hand, what is more certain is how we can use this information to tie it into something we probably intuitively know and feel.

What can I do to RAISE my self confidence?

The study looked at height and how that relates to self confidence, and thus how others look at you. However, it doesn't take a scientist to know that a tall person who slouches over is sending incredibly strong non-verbal signals that they may be depressed, apathetic, disinterested, or very unconfident. The take home message here? Invest in some high quality platform shoes... Wait no that's not it!

What we have seen here is that you can't change your height, but you can improve your confidence by standing tall. Standing tall means your spine is erect, your chin is up, and both your feet are planted on the floor. If you haven't done it in a while, you'll probably hear a lot of crackling as you straighten out that spine!

"Who has confidence in himself will gain the confidence of others."     Leib Lazarow

Instead of slouching over when you feel unworthy or your confidence is low, simply stand tall. It's a much more favorable thing to do although it may feel totally unnatural at first. But lets face the facts here: If you "shrink" by a few inches you're just as visible and people are still going to see you and know you're there. On the other hand, if you stand tall you will still be seen and you will feel better and more confident. Furthermore, other people get a more favorable impression because you simply look more confident.

Not only is standing tall very cost-effective (it's free if you weren't sure) but it's also instant. No chanting, praying, waiting, attracting, or dreaming required! So stand tall today. You might just like the higher perspective!

Additional Self Confidence Building Resources

If you're hungry for more tips to raise self confidence, a very thorough and helpful resource I personally use is from the Chicken Soup for the Soul co-author Jack Canfield called Maximum Confidence: Ten Secrets of Extreme Self-Esteem.

If you'd like to read the article referenced in this blog post, read "Standing tall pays off, study finds"

Still hungry to learn more about how to improve your self confidence and feel better about your own life? Then be sure to read a previous self improvement blog titled, 4 Easy Tips to Build Self Confidence.

A new favorite personal development book of mine is now Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People." On the cover of Carnegie's classic book, a little gold medallion reads "Over 15,000,000 Copies Sold". There is no doubt in my mind that this book has sold that much and millions more by word of mouth. It's been said that word of mouth is one of the best forms of advertisement. And make no mistake, if you read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie you will recommend this book to your friends also.

When I first read the title "How to Win Friends and Influence People" I thought it sounded slightly manipulative, and I'm not interested in that. Fortunately, the book is anything but manipulation techniques. In fact, it's so grounded in being true, honest, and caring that to say you will "win" friends using the wise words in this book is almost a misnomer. To the contrary, you will develop a winning personality and that will make you an infinitely more attractive person.

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" Book Review

Although the book was originally written in the 1930's it has been updated and it is undoubtedly as relevant today as it could have been centuries ago.

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" is divided into 4 parts. Those four parts are:

1. Fundamental techniques in handling people
2. Six ways to make people like you
3. How to win people to your way of thinking
4. Be a leader: How to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment

Within each part there are information-packed chapters such as: The big secret in dealing with people, You can't win an argument, Do this and you'll be welcome anywhere, An appeal that everybody likes, How to criticize -- And not be hated for it, and Making people glad to do what you want. Do these sound like subjects that could dramatically improve the quality of your relationships and your life? It certainly did to me!

In general, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie stresses the importance of empathy — seeing things from other peoples' point of view, and trying to develop win-win scenarios. To the contrary, many people in today's world are simply thinking, "How can I get what I want out of this person?" But Carnegie's book is so much more than that as well. To me, it is a handbook in human relations whether they be friends, family, business or professional relationships.

Great Features of "How to Win Friends and Influence People"

The book is practical. Simple advice like using peoples' names more often can instantly let them know you're interested in them. Dale Carnegie points out that to each person their name is the most precious sound in the world. Not only is the advice very practical, but it's immediate as well. There's no voodoo or wishing or dreaming necessary. As Jim Rohn might say, you don't have to move to Sedona, Arizona and sleep under a crystal for this stuff to work! When you learn to make someone else feel important then you will notice such immediacy.

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" Summary

Carnegie was a teacher of his methods, and it shows through in the book. Rather than merely giving good advice or spelling out techniques, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie is delivered like a high quality instructional course. At the end of each chapter are reviews. Throughout the book there are relevant stories about how some of his students successfully applied the techniques. And, rather than a reader wondering "How do I apply this?" there are practical examples about how you can take what's written on these pages and transfer that information into noticeable changes in your life.

This stuff applies to everyone — not just for business or material success, but for life success. Everybody wants to have better relationships with the people in their lives, and "How to Win Friends and Influence People" delivers that.

Conclusion

When it's all said and done, my "How to Win Friends and Influence People" book review just begins to scratch the surface of the powerful messages held in Dale Carnegie's book. Not only has it quickly become a staple in my personal development and self improvement library, but I highly recommend it to you.



If you want to learn some practical, applicable strategies, techniques, and ways of thinking to immediately help you improve your relationships with others then "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie has a lot to offer you.

If you consider yourself a negative thinker or your emotions bring you down, is it possible to change and overcome negativity? I've been studying personal development now for over a year and it's what this blog is all about. One of the resounding messages that have been very subtle but pervasive among great teachers (for example The 7 Habits author Stephen Covey, Zig Ziglar, Anthony Robbins, and other very notable experts) that I have picked up is that our emotions and how we act are completely separate — if we make that choice. In spite of feeling or thinking negatively, we can choose to act positively.

For instance, Stephen Covey talks about a gap existing between stimulus and response. That is, when stuff happens to us that is part 1 of a 3 step process. Part two of Covey's idea is that we consciously or subconsciously make a choice; and part 3 says that we ultimately react. Make a special note that there is a special between stimulus and response where we choose our behaviors.

What does this gap mean?

This beautiful choice we are faced with is what makes us different from other species on Earth. As Jim Rohn puts it, the goose can only fly south in the winter. Humans, on the other hand, can do whatever they choose. Whether you wake up feeling vibrant and full of life or sluggish and downtrodden you can choose how you want to react. In the past, I made the mistake of thinking this was easy, and figured that I should feel like doing an activity before starting that activity.

Since then, I have learned that despite feeling or thinking negatively, we can choose to overcome negativity and act positively. Inevitably, this will make us feel better. I'd also be willing to bet you will start thinking better as a result as well.

Why bother with motivation?

The idea of behaving according to how you feel seems to play a large part in many peoples' motivation. For instance, I would wager that most people attribute very successful people to largely being very motivated. However, the entire idea of motivation is a huge pitfall for many people.

Zig Ziglar is a personal achievement guru, plain and simple. I've heard him make a great point before that motivation follows the act. Zig Ziglar a guy who was an aimless wanderer and underachiever into his early to mid 40's. Around this time he completely turned his life around and ends up leading his sales force virtually overnight. How did this happen? I don't think it was because energy usually picks up in your mid 40s. Rather, he was able to change his life because somewhere in his mind he started thinking and choosing to behave differently.

Stimulus > Choice > Response

The strongest emotions can drastically change our lives, but the beautiful part is that you can dramatically change your life by your own freedom of choice, whether you're feeling like a "go-getter" or a "maybe-later" attitude.

We can act according to how we want to act even in the face of negative thoughts. The choice and power ultimately lies with each of us. We can choose to act against our negative thoughts and live a higher life. That is exactly what I hope you have the enjoyment of doing today and tomorrow and beyond!